IMG_2418Part of my job is to meet 10 new, extraordinary people everyday. Simple and Awesome. Sometimes I will meet these people through social media, other times while I am working out, and then others while I am just running errands and doing my day. As a new momma, doing my day can sometimes get condensed or cutout. But today, I set out with intention to go run some errands with L. The intention: fabulous. The execution: less than fabulous.

I think the second reason that parenting is one of the most challenging jobs in the world is because you have NO idea what you’re doing. There is no confirmation of what is right or wrong. You consult 15 people and you will get 15 different answers. All you have is your intuition. I’m currently reading the book, Blink, right now and while intuition can be spot on, it can also be questionnable when the only thing to confirm if you’re getting it right or getting it wrong is a happy baby or a crying baby. When you state it that simply, the answer seems clear, but even then, we question ourselves.

I might have the coolest kid on the planet. She’s adorable. Smart. Playful. Funny. She likes social settings and new people. She’s easygoing as long as she doesn’t have crap in her pants or is hungry (are you easygoing with crap in your pants?). Buuuuuuut, at 3 months old, she refuses to sleep if you aren’t near her. I don’t know how she knows, but she does. She can be in the deepest siesta and you will put her down and her eyes will pop open. So, for now, she sleeps with us, and naps are best if she’s held. And if this happens, she’s a dream sleeper! But  sleep being one of the most controversial and opinionated baby topics leaves you open to question, doubt, and criticism… So I question myself constantly, look for other solutions (try them. Fail.). Then if you consult anyone. Oh lord. Just don’t consult anyone. At least not anyone you know. If they don’t have kids, they might think the solution is way easier (I definitely did pre-baby). If they have kids and have an easy sleeper, then you are a failure. Or they don’t have an easy sleeper and you feel somewhat relieved but then they must be doing something wrong. Then there’s the “experts.” And everyone thinks that you are an overprotective parent that just needs to put the kid down.

So today, I did. I went against my gut. Decided to head out during naptime, let her sleep while driving. We don’t really have a hard and fast schedule yet anyway. It’ll be ok. Big Mistake. My sweet little angel was mortified. It was as if I betrayed her and let her sleep outside in the rain, never to return. Tears, wails, and heaving sighs. We didn’t make it out the front door.

And while many will be reading this, judging, thinking that they may know best. They simply don’t. Because in reality, no one understands my baby, knows her cues, can read her emotions, recognize her signs that she is ready for the next big girl step better than I can. According to my daughter, we have an agreement. I nurse her and snuggle her during naptime. I used to snuggle her for all of naptime. These days, she understands that we snuggle most of naptime, but that she can also finish out 30 minutes or so in her rock’n’play. This is what we’ve worked toward and she’s cool with it. And at some point, when she gives me a sign that she is ready for the next step, we will make another agreement. She might get scared. She might feel unsure. But, I will validate her and support her, even challenge her when appropriate.  No sneak attacks. No manipulation. No pulling the wool over her eyes. That’s just not how we do things.

And I will learn to trust my instinct and forget the naysayers.

So for now, I will finish my workday meeting 5 more extraordinary people via social media. Maybe it will be you. Or maybe you might want to introduce me to someone new.

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The Lost Luxuries of Motherhood

10 weeks in and they are not lying when they say that parenting is one of the hardest jobs ever. But it’s hard in a way that I never thought of and probably one that I can’t even explain all that well. I think what has been the hardest part for me is that I have had to literally relearn how to do my entire life. Things such as eating or carrying a conversation. And don’t even get me started on something like Time Management!

There are so many luxuries of my past life that are simply non-existent in my current state of motherhood. Some may return. Others can stay gone. 

  1. Blow-drying my hair. Oh how I have spent hours applying product, drying, straightening, curling, and spraying my hair. I like to do my hair. My hair is my thing. Not so much right now. A blowout (not even a good blowout) is now a weekly luxury and boy do I feel glamorous when it’s done!
  2. Taking my health for granted. I have been fortunate to be quite healthy and in a healthy weight my whole life. So I got comfortable and complacent. Then pregnancy took over my body and did things that I wasn’t psyched about it doing. And now it’s starting to readjust. BUT, it’s given me a glimpse of a tired, stressed, and overweight body, and I AM SIMPLY NOT HAVING IT! I need to be around a LONG time and I need to keep up with her. So sayonara “good enough.”
  3. Watching a movie. Like a whole movie. Start to finish. I take that back. I did watch one movie from start to finish since L has arrived… but it took about 3 1/2 hours to get through the 90 minute film. 
  4. Eating. Well, more like meal prepping. Thank God for shakes and crockpots. If it couldn’t be done one-handed, it might not happen. 
  5. Giving a S#*&. Yikes. That sounds harsh. Especially from a health and business coach. Let me set this straight. I care A LOT, maybe even more than before, if YOU care. But I simply don’t have the time to care more than you do. And I definitely don’t have the luxury to care about things that simply don’t matter.
  6. Blogging. Scratch that. Lazy computer time in general. Sometimes, I truly miss thee. Wasting countless hours in an email/ Facebook/pinterest rotating trap. If it can’t be done easily on the iPhone, it probably doesn’t happen that often. It sucks to have to be more intentional with my time. 
  7. Sleep. I don’t think that one needs any further description. 
  8. Taking my time at achieving my expired, time-stamped goals. You see, I have someone watching me now. And many of those said, time-stamped goals are for her. Oh the lost luxury of not living up to my potential. Buh-bye.
  9. Sitting down. Dancing, bouncing, swaying, walking, squatting are my new ways of doing things. Probably why I can’t get a lot of computer time in. But at least it keeps me active. 
  10. Being selfish. When you get married, you definitely take into account the thoughts and feelings of someone else, but it’s nothing like being a parent. There is no decision that I can make without thoroughly taking into consideration the many variables that will impact her. This includes me-time, which I take deliberately now. 

And while some of the things of my past life I do miss… like a luxurious 8 hours of sleep… there is absolutely nothing better than getting smiled at by your precious baby and knowing that you are the most important person in her world. And, as in my conversations with her, I don’t take that job lightly. Everyday I will mess up. And everyday I will get better.

Thank you L for making me better.